Recap: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Episode 9.03 – The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award

Charlie refuses to wear gloves.

Frank walks in with an ad for the Restaurant and Bar Association’s Best Bar Award and says they could get nominated.

The others say they never get nominated for awards. Awards are stupid anyway. Are they curious why? Sure. It is a little odd they’ve never been nominated.

Frank asks, So is it because they don’t deserve it? Or they’re not cool enough?
Dee can’t imagine anyone doing what they do any better.

Charlie is starting to get upset about it. Frank says they need to play the game, but Charlie says it’s lame having to kiss ass.

“You know what’s lame? Being around this long and not getting an award. It makes you look like a bunch of assholes.”

They are all starting to get upset about it. They feel like assholes now. So they decide to play the game, but not because they care about an award.

The Gang heads to the Restaurant and Bar Association and talk to the bass. Before he comes in, they agree to spit on him if he gives them attitude, but Frank says No, and to let him do the talking.

The guy walks in and Frank starts vaguely bribing him with lettuce and shrimp. The boss says it’s 3:30 and he’s already had lunch, so the Gang gets ready to spit. But Frank stops them.

Frank asks how much is it going to take to get on the ballot. Actually, just $10. That’s the entry fee. They must apply.

The guy says they’ve always sent them a form, but it’s always returned with feces or racial slurs.

Frank decides to open his briefcase of money, but instead gets blasted in the face with paint. The others had planned it to explode at Mr. Boss Man.

They leave and they decide to campaign by visiting other bars. Charlie wants to get dropped off back at the bar though to work on the Best Song for the Best Song Award.

Meanwhile, the others head to Sudz, last year’s Best Bar winner. It’s a bright, colorful, happy bar playing Carly Rae Jepsen.

Frank goes to give the manager a Swag Bag filled with key chains and eggs.

Dennis, Dee and Mac meet the bartender, Greg. He suggests trying their signature cocktail, the Blue Hole. It’s better than an orgasm. Then comes a strange succession of jokes and heartwarming advice with Maxwell and Amanda, who also work at the bar.

While their three drinks are being made, Dennis and Mac are confused why they aren’t making a big deal about the one black friend (Maxwell).

Suddenly, Maxwell rings a bell that signals everyone should take a drink.

Frank’s in the manager’s office eating all the candy when Oscar Nunez walks in. The manager, I mean.

Taylor Swift starts playing and the other three are starting to enjoy themselves. They like this Blue Hole and are now very invested in Greg and Amanda’s apparent sexual tension.

Dee says she’s cute, but not funny. Though Dennis says she doesn’t need to be cute. Because she’s cute and loveable, everyone likes her and if she can tell a joke, then hey.

Frank comes and says they should leave this dump. He tells them Oscar’s been to Paddy’s and it’s just a bunch of people yelling at each other. Maybe that’s off-putting, they concede. Frank suggests they have an industry night and invite all the voters to show what Paddy’s is all about. They decide though, maybe they need to soften the edges a little.

Back at Paddy’s, Dennis, Dee and Mac are preparing their witty banter for the party. Dennis also suggests Mac and Dee engage in a romantic Will They or Won’t They situation since the people love to watch that.

Mac misinterprets Dennis’ banter as a slight and gets too aggressive. That’s exactly what they shouldn’t do.

Frank walks in and says they need to go darker with their industry night. He and Artemis went to a burlesque bar last night. Women stripping, but classy and they’ve won a ton of awards.

Mac says maybe their location is the problem, but a bar that opened last year down the street has already won a ton of awards.

Frank says maybe it’s us. No, no, it’s everybody else.

Charlie pops in and tells them he’s finished the Best Song.
They decide to listen and they are surprised that they are actually enjoying Charlie’s sweet little song about enjoying life at Paddy’s Pub.

Charlie says he was aiming for middle America and Randy Newman. The Gang applauds him. They actually like it, no rape references, spiders or Ghouls.

Frank asks Charlie to help him with lemons in the basement. Instead, he locks him in. They definitely DO NOT want Charlie to sing that at the party.

More Carly Rae Jepsen. More colors. A black guy. Yes, this is Paddy’s Pub.

A well-dressed lady wants to order a drink and Mac offers to jizz in one for her. That’s not what Dennis had on the banter cards.

Now it’s time for Mac and Dee’s Will They or Won’t They. But Mac messes up which causes Dee to slight his tattoos which provokes Mac to choke her.

Dennis breaks it up and suddenly Charlie crawls out of the floor. He’s high on spray paint. They tell them to go back in the basement, but he sits at the piano instead. Suddenly, more black guys arrive.

“The ratio’s off!”

They decide to go burlesque and invite the association boss and Oscar into their office. Unfortunately, Artemis is shoving a bottle into Frank’s ass.

Charlie starts to sing his song… a new song, about spiders. And telling people to go f*ck themselves.

Charlie then starts spitting, which the others take as a signal to start spitting too, so they spit at all the guests to leave.

That felt good. But not they realize it was them all along.

It still kinda sucks though, because they really wanted that award.

Episode Thoughts
Best episode so far this season. It was definitely a fun tongue-in-cheek, *wink*wink* episode, but full of truth. Right?

I can’t even begin to name the shows they were slyly referring to, though I could try and guess based on my own biases. (lol)

Definitely liked Charlie’s Best Song. (Not so much the spider f*ck song. lol) The Best Song should definitely get a Best Original Song nomination at the Emmys next year.

But seriously though, it really is a crime that after 8 season, the show has not gotten any awards loves. There are some ruder, cruder, unclassy shows out there that award giving bodies seem to love and embrace. Sunny may have been shockingly rude and politically incorrect when it first premiered, but I actually think it is pretty tame these days compared to other shows out there.

Sunny must have been ahead of its time. But at the same time, one of the rare shows on television that just get better with age. Season 9 and still going strong!

I think the Gang would be happy to have gone 9 seasons and counting without awards than a buttload of awards and a few seasons. I know I would.

A detailed recap is nice and all, but you know what’s even better? Actually watching the full episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!
Download full episodes and order full season DVDs on

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