The guys are making plans to spend the night at a museum hoping to see everything come to life. They think it’ll be more fun than staying at the bar and watch Dee stuff her face. She’s getting pretty fat.
“I’m not fat, I’m pregnant,” she drops.
They say she’s been saying that too much lately.
“You better do yourself a favor and flush it out!”
Mac says they don’t give a shit about her or her body or the baby bird she’s carrying.
Dee says they better start caring since one of them is the father. They have no idea what she’s talking about. She tells them it was at the Halloween party.
She leaves and their night at the museum is on hold while the guys figure out who’s the daddy. They all remember that they were wasted that night. Mac says he was “browned out” which is a less severe version of blacking out. He came up with it.
Mac doesn’t want them to overuse the term though, but Charlie says it is pretty much public domain now.
Dennis’ Brown State
They start piecing together that night. Dennis goes first. He remembers they all had great costumes, except for Mac who didn’t follow their plan of being Mario and Luigi. Mac decided to go for a sexier look instead of Mario. He says he’s dressed as Viggeo Morgenstein from Lord of the Rings. Dennis thought they were ditching sexy and going funny this year to disarm the ladies.
“I look like an asshole!”
“You’re totally, totally boning me here bro!”
Frank and Charlie come over dressed as Spiderman and the Phantom of the Opera respectively, though Charlie thinks he’s dressed as a vampire to get on the Twilight craze.
“I want to suck your blood! It’s Twilight time! Time for sucking!”
And just maybe, the Waitress could be into vampires.
Dee comes over and tells them the party blows.
“There’s no studs here. No beef in the freezer if you know what I mean.”
Dee’s dressed as a “sexy angel,” but the guys think she’s dressed like a huge bird. She points to some girl dressed as a green peacock, but the guys like her. In fact, Dennis has pinpointed her as his prey for the evening.
Dennis then remembers some kind of commotion at the other end of the bar but he could care less because he was close to bedding the peacock.
Well, not really. She thinks he’s creepy and wants nothing to do with him. She walks away and Charlie comes over to him crying and drunk.
“This costume is so sexy. I can’t believe it man, she takes advantage of me. She’s like ‘Oh my God! You’re look so sexy! I’m gonna sex you all up.’ I’m like ‘You’re just my friend! Get your sex off me!’ And then she gets all sex on me cuz I got the sexiest costume in the world! I hate it!”
Dennis proposes they switch costumes and Charlie can’t wait to get rid of it.
Charlie’s Brown State
They conclude it was Charlie that impregnated Dee, that’s why he was so upset. But no, Charlie remembers he was actually crying tears of joy. It is his turn to remember now.
He recalls Frank and Artemis having a big argument and him finalizing a truce with the McPoyle brothers. They’re drinking milk and they bump fists to seal the deal.
Dee walks in, this time with yellow feathers all over herself. Charlie and Dee compliment each other.
Then, the Waitress walks in with a man also dressed up as the Phantom of the Opera. She says he’s her new boyfriend, to protect her.
“I have to defend your honor!” Charlie says and asks Mac to get his back. He punches the guy who falls back into a McPoyle who spills his milk all over Dee.
“Goddamnit! I got milk all over me!”
Something comes over the Waitress. “That… was insanely masculine,” she says and begins to suck face with Charlie!
Charlie is excited! He only just remembered it! He must call the Waitress.
Frank’s Brown State
But Frank says no, that’s not what happened. He attempts to correct the stories so far.
First correction, he wasn’t Spiderman, he was Manspider! And the argument with Artemis was about their make-up sex in a dumpster outside of Wendy’s. She had incorporated a bun in their sex and he starts to describe it, but the guys stop him before he details their sex.
He continues that she had wanted another dumpster session, but he wanted to stay at the party. That’s just when Charlie asks Mac to back him up, but instead Mac bumps into Charlie who bumps into the boyfriend who bumps into the McPoyles who spill milk all over Dee.
And it wasn’t The Waitress who kissed him, it was Artemis who took advantage of him just to make Frank jealous.
Artemis’ Brown State
Artemis comes to confirm the story.
“Knock knock dick faces.”
She confirms she made out with Charlie. But she also remembers Mac having sex with Dee in the bathroom. She had heard the “sounds of hot passionate lovemaking” with her own earballs.
She remembers Mac had blood all over his knuckles so he went to wash it off. Dee was upset her increasingly bird-like costume was all milked so she goes to the bathroom as well. But since the line in the women’s restroom was so long, she went to the men’s room.
After a few minutes, Frank and Artemis made up and wanted to have sex in the bathroom but it was locked. That’s when she heard the lovemaking inside. She and Frank then went to her station wagon out back and gave each other handjobs.
Mac’s Brown State
Charlie wants to chant “Mac’s the dad!” but Mac says no, that isn’t possible. He didn’t want to admit this, but has to. He heard Charlie call for help. The guy is now huge and about to beat up Charlie, so Mac, with no time for an ocular pat down, uppercuts the guy. The bar cheers!
He heads to the bathroom to wash off the douchebag blood off his knuckles. That’s when Dee walks in. Dee… as an ostrich, who squacks nonstop. Mac shoos her away.
He turns around and see Margaret McPoyle hanging around the stalls again. She does her lip lick and Mac is turned on so they have sex.
Now it’s time to go to the McPoyles to confirm everything since they were sober all night drinking milk.
McPoyle’s Milk State
They recall the entire night. Drunk Charlie was trying to strike an incoherent truce with the brothers. They’re whatever.
The Waitress and her boyfriend arrive, but wait! She’s not the Waitress. But Charlie is too drunk.
“I have to offend your honor!”
Mac comes running and bumps into Charlie who bumps into the boyfriend who bumps into the McPoyles who spill milk onto a drunk Dee. Mac then punches the girl in the face and Artemis comes to suck Charlie’s face (“I’m insanely high on mescaline.” )
Mac and Dee head to the bathroom, but he kicks Dee out. The McPoyles applaud Macwell banging their sister.
They continue by remembering Dee forced peacock girl to switch costumes with her. Wanting revenge on the guys, she takes Charlie into the office, knowing he’d be the easiest to trick into making love to her.
“You should see the look on your face. It’s good enough to eaaattt.”
But Charlie says that wasn’t him. He had switched costumes with Dennis. So Dee thought Dennis was Charlie and Dennis thought Dee was the peacock chick.
The McPoyles are drooling at the thought of Dennis and Dee having a baby. Dennis wants to throw up.
Dee’s Clear Brown State
The guys go to Dee’s apartment, all freaked out about the incest baby. But Dee laughs it off. Of course she didn’t have sex with Dennis. But she loves that they’ve been all crazy about it all night after they were making fun of her earlier. None of them are the father.
They are incredibly relieved. But she’s not going to tell them who the father is.
And they don’t give a shit. They celebrate that none of them are the father and leave with bird insults at her.
Well, the big hyped episode revealing Dee’s pregnancy.
I guess I did feel a little cheated with the ending. I seem to remember reading that the father would be a season-long mystery, but I still thought we were going to find out tonight anyway.
Still, it was a fun episode. Dee’s bird evolution was hilarious. And seeing the McPoyles was kind of refreshing in that icky lip-licking sort of way.
A solid episode, but I guess I was expecting more.