The guys want to buy a boat since apparently Dick Towel has brought them a buttload of money… “Twenty-five hundred dollars flush!” They want to live the high life with their newfound fortune (and Charlie’s life savings).
Charlie thinks this will be a great investment because they can use the boat to haul in shrimp… a Forrest Gump size amount of shrimp. Mac has a need for speed. Dennis is more concerned with entertaining guests with P Diddy style parties.
The boat dealer brings them to see The Drowning Sailor. An old rundown boat. They love it. It’s perfect. They take it.
Frank and Dee join the guys to visit the new houseboat. Frank and Charlie are excited about catching fish and shrimp. Dee wants to go out to see and get loaded.
But not so fast, Dennis talle Frank and Charlie to scrape the barnacles off of the bottom of the boat. Dennis, Mac and Dee go inside to see the décor situation and they hate it (though it’s actually all right).
Dee’s feeling it so she puts on some Diana Ross and starts showing off her P Diddy dance moves (including a signature move from maybe season 2 or 3) which Mac says looks like one of those inflatable dancing things that flail around in the wind at used car lots. Dee wants to challenge the inflatable man to a dance-off, Mac will judge. Dennis wants no trashy inflatable man on his boat.
“Dee stop dancing, you look like an asshole.”
Dennis tells Dee to clear out the inside of the boat and do some hard labor since she didn’t invest anything into the boat. Then she can dance all she wants.
Outside, Charlie and Frank are getting their shrimping and fishing gear ready. Franks wants some Delaware River Catfish.
“The goddamn EPA, they says they’re toxic. Toxic my ass, they’re just endangered.”
Dennis and Mac come out to tell them they’re heading to the boat store, but do not like them loading all their fishing crap onto the boat. Frank says they’ll scrape the boat and Mac is paranoid of being patronized.
Charlie says they’ll scrape those oysters off of the boat and cook ‘em and they’ll all eat ‘em later. Mac and Dennis don’t want to eat barnacles and advise them not to either. That’s an order from Captain Mac.
Dennis and Mac leave and Frank and Charlie continue with their oysters and shrimpies plan. Charlie asks Frank to throw him the keys, which he does, right into the water. Charlie jumps in to find them.
Dennis and Mac are at the boat store. Why is all this boat stuff expensive!? Dennis is worried they won’t have enough money for a good mattress. Mattress? Of course, a mattress. The whole point of the boat is to get the ladies tipsy topside and then bring them inside where they can’t refuse… because of The Implication. (Yes, capitalized.)
Mac doesn’t get The Implication.
“She’s out in the middle of nowhere with a dude she barely knows, she looks around and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. ‘Ah!! There’s nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do? Say no?’”
Mac still doesn’t get it. Sounds dark. Dennis says he’s just misunderstanding it. Of course if the girl says no, it means no. But she’s never going to say no because of The Implication.
Mac really doesn’t get The Implication.
“The Implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. You know, not that things are going to go wrong for her, but she’s thinking that they will.”
Mac asks, “Are you going to hurt women!?”
Of course not, Dennis says, Mac is just not getting this at all. Meanwhile, an older woman is listening to their conversation.
“Well, don’t you look at me like that. You certainly wouldn’t be in any danger.”
Back at the boat, Charlie can’t find the keys. But! He’s found a horse’s tooth and a bullet. War relics! Evidence of a horse massacre… underwater. Incredible find.
Charlie wants to keep diving, see what else he can find. But he needs a flashlight. Frank throws one into the water. Meanwhile, Dee is throwing stuff out the window to some DMX tunes. Frank goes to see and he suggests they gut the place. He starts smashing sh!t all over the place. He knocks the circuit breaker or something and it sparks. Oh well.
Dennis and Mac come back to find Dee and Frank doing a rolling sway. The guys can’t believe what they did to the place. Mac wants a crew meeting and they go outside to find Charlie with tons of cool stuff. Oh… actually, he’s just brought back all the stuff Dee threw out.
Dennis is not interested in the Revolutionary Era horse massacre. Instead, he wants Charlie to find the keys, but to do that, he needs some scuba gear. Charlie tells them to get the scuba gear and in the mean time the three of them will clean the sea treasures off the boat and paint it. It’ll look all better when they come back.
Mac thinks he’s being patronized again, but no, Charlie is sincere. Mac apologizes, “I’m sorry Charlie.” Charlie responds, in a patronizing manner, “Oh, I’m sorry too!”
“You can’t patronize your captain! That’s a sea law!”
Dennis gets the expensive scuba equipment, but Mac finds there’s a dock party mixer thingy tonight. They agree this is the kind of thing they should be focusing their time on.
Mac mistakenly thinks “Back in the High Life Again” is by Stevie Nicks. But actually it’s Steve Winwood and he wants the CD. Dennis already has the CD because he has all of Winwood’s sh!t.
Back at the boat, Dee and Frank are all sunburned while painting, while the big green puffy flailing inflatable man is dancing in Dee’s way. Frank says it’s not him, it’s the aggressive music Dee’s been playing.
Dennis and Mac come back and are pleasantly surprised at how well they’ve done. Frank foolishly thinks they would help them finish, but instead the two of them leave the scuba gear and go prepare for the mixer.
As they leave, Mac turns to the three…
“Oh and guys, keep up the good work.”
“Ah, they flipped it around! They’re patronizing us!”
But Charlie says not to take it to heart because he’s found the keys! They were floating under the boat thanks to a non-patented floating device.
Dennis and Mac are dressed like trying-hard sailors/snobbish prep schoolers and they walk into the mixer yacht to find sketchy guys, “more barnacle covered and sunburned than Dee and Frank!”
Mac says these are the real men of the ocean. They’ve had adventures! For example, they go to one of the men who’s lost his hand and now has a hook. He lost it to… diabetes. Oh. Hmm. Not so adventurous anymore so they decide to leave.
But the captain of the ship says not to go and that they’ll set sail soon, and “we’re going to have a couple of tasty treats out there. It’s going to get nuts out there right fellas!?”
All the fellas hoot and holler. Aww yeah, it’s going to get crazy on the ocean.
“We’ll be out on open ocean. Anything can happen out there. No laws, right boys? Just us and our tasty treats.”
That was an implication! They’re the tasty treats! They’re going to have their way with them!
“Is this how you wanted those women to feel!?!”
But wait, in through the door walk some sexy ladies! Aha!
Back at the boat, Dee is dancing in motion with the inflatable man and Steve Winwood. Amazing synchronicity! Beautiful boat music! Frank thinks she’s doing great!
Charlie wants some more of the toxic catfish Frank is grilling. He likes the “endangered tang” taste.
Dennis calls Charlie on the phone and tells him to grab Dee and Frank and get the hell away from the boat.
“Hey man, yeah, absolutely! I’ll get right on that!”
Charlie hangs up.
“That’s how you patronize someone right there!”
Forget about those two. They’re having fun just the three of them. Charlie says the scuba gear is useless, it doesn’t even work. So he tosses it into the boat. Aannndd it hits the circuit thingy causing a fire to start inside the boat. And thanks to Frank gutting the place, there’s a huge pile of wood.
“Ooo, that’s not good.”
The fire’s getting bigger and they begin to panic. Dee suggests they bail, Charlie wants to find some water.
“There’s water everywhere!”
As Dennis and Mac come back with two ladies, the other three come climbing out of the water.
“No more Diddy boat for me,” says Dee.
“Damn catfish nipping at my heels! Endangered my ass!” complains Frank.
Dennis and Mac ask Charlie where the boat is and he points to the boat out in the middle of the harbor burning away with poor inflatable green man dancing and then getting engulfed in flames.
Charlie: “This was a terrible investment.”
Excellent episode. Loved it. Especially after the first two episodes of the season have been very lackluster and devoid of fun and laughs, this episode delivered so much.
Sunny is always awesome when it has the gang just doing small stuff. No huge, overarching, over the top premise. Just a simple little premise where the five of them can just be themselves. This episode was one of those times.
The gang buys a boat. They expect it to be the high life. They fail. Simple, yet so much more fun and hilarious.
The characters though did seem a little different this episode, but I liked it. They seemed more calm and subdued, but that didn’t make them any less funny.
Last season, Frank was a dirty old drunk. This season, Frank is more normal and almost child-like. Like a mini-Charlie. Or even the new Charlie. Charlie himself appeared smarter than he’s ever been this episode.
Probably one of the best scenes ever on Sunny, or at least one of my new favorites has to be the three on the boat at the end of the episode. Dee dancing with inflatable man, Frank grilling up some toxic catfish, Charlie patronizing Dennis. Again, so simple, yet so fun and hilarious and awesome.
Loved the episode. Definitely funnier than the first two episodes this season. Let’s hope the show goes up even more from here!
A detailed recap is nice and all, but you know what’s even better? Actually watching the full episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!
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