Recap: The Amazing Race (11) All-Stars, Episode 1 – “I’m touching poop right now.”



EPISODE 11-01: I TOLD YOU LESS MARTINIS AND MORE CARDIO

And the All-Stars are off! The 11th season of The Amazing Race begins with some of the best, most memorable teams ever.

The Leg
We start off with teams in speed boats led by some group of acrobats I guess… maybe gymnasts… or cheerleaders… anyway, we get the 11 all-star teams introduced by Phil.

Then they all Race to the airport where we get David & Mary booking tickets on the slower flight and then being very sneaky with lying to the BQs and telling Teri & Ian to go to American Airlines. Hee… go David & Mary!

Once in Ecuador, the teams Race to the Plaza de San Francisco where we see Drew slip and fall. He stays on the ground for a little bit, but Kevin tells him to get up and back into the taxi. Drew thinks he’s dislocated his shoulder, but its fine later on.

The teams spend the night at Pim’s Restaurant and, in groups, depart 15 minutes apart the next morning.

They must make their way to the North Entrance of Cotopaxi National Park.

Lots of place changing all over the episode, and Charla & Mirna and John Vito & Jill get lost and are taken to the South Entrance which is considerably farther to the Detour than if they entered through the North Entrance.

For the Detour, teams had to choose between “Wrangle it” or “Recover It.” Rob & Amber first do Recover It where they must find three items to put on a military uniform, but quit that (heh… they love quitting tasks) and do Wangle It where they must cut the nails and mane of a horse.

All the teams do Wrangle It and then proceed to run up to the Pit Stop.

Kevin & Drew and John Vito & Jill were the last two teams and the original Frats blow out their tire and drive on just the rim all the way to the task.

And then John Vito & Jill became the first All-Star team to be Philiminated.

The Teams
Okay… John Vito & Jill. I absolutely loved them in TAR3. They are the original Kris & Jon (or are Kris & Jon, JVJ v2.0?) They were strong, good looking, nice, sweet… they were just awesome. So it is very sad to see them be the first out of All-Stars when a few of the other teams shouldn’t be on All-Stars in the first place. They were done in by bad navigation again… which sucks because they are definitely a capable team. They are still one of my favorite teams ever. I was shocked when I first found out they broke up, but I am so happy to see them say they grew closer being back on the Race.

Continuing the TAR3 love… I was cheering when I heard the first “HOORAH!” of the season. Teri & Ian are just awesome. Definitely one of my favorite teams ever. Still being the oldest team to ever make the Final 3 is a big accomplishment. And after 4 years, they’ve still got it.

Charla & Mirna are still their same ol’ selves. I would’ve wanted them to do a little better though. Come on Charla! (and Mirna)

The Guidos, Joe & Bill seem to have lost their evilness. This isn’t the same Joe & Bill that pushed Nancy out of the way in the airport. And while it would be great to see the scheming Guidos again, the first TAR villains, it will be interesting to see them as “gay grandpas” (as they put it).

Kevin & Drew… man, they looked like TAR5’s Marshall and Lance out there. I hope they don’t fall the same way they did. They are one of the teams that really need to step it up.

David & Mary are still good ol’ people. I love them being starstruck, I always love Racers who are actually TAR fans. I am definitely looking forward to seeing them Race without an alliance.

Oswald & Danny are still as funny as they were in TAR2, if not more so. They did very well this episode, I think they will go very far if they keep it up.

Uchenna & Joyce… eh, they’re just there. I don’t really know why they are there though. Great, great people, good winners, but there are better teams out there.

Dustin & Kandice… another blah team. I doubt they can be as dominant as they were in TAR10, especially racing against veterans.

Rob & Amber… ugh… so Rob says they had to drag their asses back for the Race? Well excuse me sir, there are whole lot of other teams who would easily pack up their bags and go . And Amber needs to get off her high horse. Her whole every team wants to Race against us line was just so high and mighty, even Linda Weaver (TAR8) would tell her to get over herself.  I did love that they only got a trip instead of the usual $20,000 for first in the first leg.

And Eric & Danielle, a team that shouldn’t even be on All-Stars. Why are they there again? Yeah Eric & Jeremy were pretty dominant, but to pair Eric with Danielle, who was part of one of the worst TAR teams ever? If TAR was going to ignore a season, TAR9 should’ve been more snub-worthy than TAR4, TAR6, or TAR8.

Overall, it was a good premiere. I wish it was longer though. The episode felt rushed and lacking a lot of stuff. There are a lot of clips at CBS.com that could’ve very well made the episode.

Anyway, be sure to watch THE FINISH LINE every Monday at 1PM ET/10AM PT at CBS.com and watch the new ELIMINATION STATION at CBS.com where we all get to see what goes on in Sequesterville!

QUOTES FROM EPISODE 11-01

Teri: “So what did you think of the boat?”
Ian: “Oh the boat was cool. It was like ‘Miami Vice,’ felt like we were chasing drug dealers in the 80s again.”

Drew: “Did you see everyone pass me? I looked like an idiot.”
Kevin: “Yeah you do… you do.”

Oswald: “You’re doing great! You’re awesome!”
Danny: “Keep stroking me… I like it.”

Danny (to Rob & Amber): “I heard you guys have your own cable channel… with a bunch of shows on them.”

Teri: “That’s Mirna and Schmirna. Isn’t that nice how we all come with names. Do we have a name?”
Ian: “I hope we’re the big kahunas.”

Oswald: “My face is going through menopause.”

Mirna: “Mas rapido, rapido! This is too little bit rapido!”

Oswald: “We know of Rob and Amber because obviously, well, we live on this planet.”

John Vito: “I’ve had enough of Rob and Amber and I think America may have also.”

Joe: “It seems that maybe the people from Race 10 aren’t tired yet. No Gutsy Grannies here.”

Joe: “I told you they’re really tough competition. Everybody underestimates them because he’s crochety and old looking.”

Oswald: “We chose to do ‘Wrangle’ because I’ve always wanted a career in beauty. So if I can cut the nails of a horse, I can sure cut someone’s hair and give them a manicure.”

Teri: “You are the first team to arrive.”
Ian (laughing): “That would be a miracle of God.”
*looks up to the sky*
Ian: “Are you listening?”

*Some driver honks their horn*
Jill: “Oh give it up.”

Danielle: “I’m touching poop right now.”

Mary (about Charla): “Look at her! She’s beautiful!”

Charla: “Well, we’re not last… and we’ll beat [David & Mary] in a footrace.”
Mirna: “Yeah right.”

Mirna: “Wrangle is going to require holding down a wild horse.”
Charla: “That’s fine, I’ll hold it.”

TEAM RANKINGS FOR EPISODE 11-01
1. TERI & IAN
2. JOHN VITO & JILL
3. CHARLA & MIRNA
4. JOE & BILL
5. DAVID & MARY
6. OSWALD & DANNY
7. KEVIN & DREW
8. UCHENNA & JOYCE
9. DUSTIN & KANDICE
GAP
10. ERIC & DANIELLE
GAP
11. ROB & AMBER

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