Funniest TAR Quotes in History

In preparation for the premiere, one week from Tuesday, and since I can’t update the Quote of the Day in July, here are the best, funniest quotes (that I can remember) in TAR history… enjoy…

A road block where a teammate has to transfer 25 eels from one container to another. Clever editing also comes into play… lol

JON: “This feels like a slippery penis.”
KELLY: “I want to touch one.”

At the airport on one of the final legs
JON (to Reichen and Chip): “Don’t cut! Or I’ll punch your eye out!”
Jon and Kelly are looking for one of Beethoven’s houses
KELLY (to Jon): “Are you retarded? How many Beethovens do you think there are in the world?”
Jon and Kelly arrive last on Leg 12
KELLY (to Phil): “We’ve come to a realization. We can not have children… because we do not want them to inherit our stupidity.”

At a road block where one teammate has to block a goal from a Portuguese soccer player

JOHN VITO: “Did you see how I stopped it? With my face!”

At a detour where teams have to mine for opals.

WIL: “I’m not a miner!”
TARA: “I know! You’re an IDIOT!”

Teams wait for taxis after finishing a detour where they had to hitch a ride in an bobsled.

KEN: “We might be up the crick… We might be up the mountain without a bobsled… for gosh sakes.”
IN REFERENCE TO: “We might be up the creek with a paddle.”

Gerard is encouraging Ken to pick up the pace while repelling down a rockface.
GERARD (to Ken): “Just pretend theres a dozen glazed doughnuts at the bottom.”
Ken and Gerard decide counting money isn’t the best choice for a detour.
GERARD (to Ken): “We should abort! … Mission abort, mission abort, mission abort!”

On their way to the next route marker.

IAN: “You’re unzipped. You’re unzipped. You’re unzipped.”

On their way to the next route marker in Switzerland

DEREK (to Drew): “You have a compass disability, and its severe”

At the beginning of TAR4 Debra and Steve are describing themselves.

STEVE: “We’re fat, we’re forty…”
DEBRA: “But we’re fun!”

Flo and Zach are peddling their way to the pitstop.

FLO: “I can’t believe we got beaten by two old, retired people.”
Zach refused to let Ken and Gerard borrow the map.

ZACH: “Flo, Flo, Flo … why are you screaming at me like I’m some kind of an a****le?”
FLO: “Because YOU ARE!”

Flo begins to repel at the detour
FLO: “What happens if I slip? Am I just hanging off a cliff?”
Flo motivates Zach
FLO: “We have to haul ass!”

Mille (of Millie and Chuck) and Chip (of Chip and Reichen) get physical trying to grab the ticket off the Fiacre.

MILLIE (to Chip): “I wasn’t even going to touch you until you slammed my head backwards.”

Amanda and Chris talk to Phil after they are Philiminated.

AMANDA: “He’s a little jerk. But I still love him.”

Steve and Dave comment on their jump from the Danube Tower.

STEVE: “Green Peace showed up and told us to stop throwing whales off the tower.”

Today’s a big sports day… NASCAR at Infineon… Middle Sunday play at WIMBLEDON finally… the Sabercats winning ANOTHER ARENA BOWL… and the GIANTS beating the A’s to win the series! 🙁 The LONGHORNS lost the College World Series though… oh well…

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