Recap: The Amazing Race 16, Episode 5 – “Put your boobs on the ground and drag them over here.”

Episode 16.05 – I Think We’re Fighting the Germans, Right?

The Leg

At the Pit Stop, teams boarded a bus that will take them a mystery destination.

On the bus, Joe ices his knee and says the other teams won’t hinder him at all.  Louie & Michael are offended and think confident guys should be out of the Race.  (Well, where does that leave them then?)

They leave the new Pit Stop first and get the clue telling them to drive themselves to the town of Sainte-Menehould and find the Boulangerie Defontaine where they will buy a fresh baguette which contains their next clue.

The detectives get to the bakery and find the clue baked inside the bread, which tells them to drive to La Main de Massiges where they’ll find their next clue.  The other teams get to the bakery and enjoy their breakfast as the detectives get to the cluebox where they find the Detour. 

In this Detour, teams will experience the historic World War I battle at the strategic hill coveted by the Germans and defended by the French.  For both Detours, teams will first dress as American soldiers.
In In the Trenches, teams will head into the trenches and at one of the communication stations, must listen to a message being transmitted by Morse code and translate it.
In Under Fire teams will crawl 100 yards under barbed wire to a French soldier in a foxhole who will hand them a message.  They will then crawl back where they came from.For both Detours, teams will attach the message to a homing pigeon who will send the message back to headquarters telling them the War is over.  It is then when they will receive their next clue.

Guns are fired, bombs are dropped, fighter planes fly right above their heads as teams start the crawl.  Meanwhile, Jeff & Jordan just leave the Pit Stop and have trouble getting out of town.  They’re confused.

The detectives finish the Detour, meeting Steve & Allie and Joe & Heidi on their way back.  The pigeon flies away with the message and they get their next clue telling them to head south on the road.  They head down the road using Michael’s watch compass that worked so well for them in Argentina [/sarcasm] and they find the U-Turn.  They debate over whether to use the U-Turn on Steve & Allie or Joe & Heidi, but decide to use it on the married parents because of Joe’s overconfident statement on the bus.  They get the next clue telling them to head into town to find the Church of Massiges.

Back on the battlefield, Jet & Cord pass Carol & Brandy who are not having any of this, on the way to the Detour.  Brothers Dan & Jordan have some brotherly joshing.  

Steve & Allie and Joe & Heidi finish and they walk together to the next clue and discover the U-Turn.  The father & daughter continue while Joe & Heidi have to return to do the other side of the Detour.  They listen to the transmission and believe it is the same message as the other Detour “The war is over. Vive la liberté” but it is incorrect.

The U-turners get their next clue though which tells them to wear traditional biking gear and in honor of the 1903 inaugural Tour de France, will cycle their way 4mi to the next Pit Stop.  A marching band and dancing Phil greets them as they check in first again.  A 55″ flat screen and they howl.  Wonderful.

The other teams check in one by one.  Steve & Allie in 2nd, Jet & Cord in 3rd, Dan & Jordan in 4th, and Carol & Brandy in 5th.

Brent & Caite use Brent’s watch to guide them south, but they don’t pass the U-Turn and cluebox instead hitting the Church Route Marker instead.  They proceed to the bikes and then the Pit Stop where Phil informs them of their mistake.  They head back, find the clue and pedal back to the Mat where they still check in 6th.

Jeff & Jordan finally arrive at the field and find their Speed Bump.  For their Speed Bump they’ll have to go into the trenches and reinforce a wall by using branches weaving in and out of posts.  Once the engineer approves, they’ll get their next clue.

They finish and move on to the Detour as Joe & Heidi struggle with the Morse code, repeatedly getting the wrong answer when they go and check it out.  Eventually, Jeff & Jordan get through the Detour and make their way to the Pit Stop to officially check in Team #7.

Joe & Heidi are dejected as they hole up in the trenches, waiting for Phil to come out and give them the bad news and the correct answer, “We will prevail.  Vive la France.”


Episode Thoughts
I really loved this episode.  The scenes at the battlefield were just amazing and so exciting.  I would love to be in the middle of that, seems like fun.  But also reminds you there’s some brave men and women around the world who are in that environment every day.  

But for The Amazing Race, it was definitely an incredible Detour.  Definitely on par with TAR8’s Civil War Detour that also had teams in the middle of a battle.  Remember little Billy and Carissa Gaghan helping to transport wounded soldiers in Pennsylvania?  Who says TAR8 was horrible when you’ve got moments like that!

Still, this leg was kind makes you appreciate equalizers because the design of the leg offered no opportunity for any team to move ahead or fall behind unless you were on the short end of the U-Turn.  Doesn’t make for an exciting Race in that respect.

So a great Detour, but it would’ve been nice to see some teams really fighting it out.  Also pretty funny having the idea of the Blind U-Turn negated by being used by the first team on the team right behind them.  

Leg Five Itinerary

Indra Musikclub
Hamburg, Germany

Château des Monthairons
Les Monthairons, Lorraine, France

La main de Massiges
Massiges, France

Boulangerie Defontaine
Sainte-Menehould, Champagne-Ardenne

Church of Massiges/L’Église de Massiges
Massiges, France

Massiges, France

Departure Times

Château des Monthairons
Les Monthairons, Lorraine, France

Louie & Michael 9:35am
Steve & Allie 9:55am
Joe & Heidi 10:11am
Jet & Cord 10:36am
Carol & Brandy 10:44am
Dan & Jordan 10:57am
Brent & Caite 11:36am
Jeff & Jordan 12:17am

Who Did the Detour?
In order of completion




*Joe & Heidi were U-turned, but were not were not able to complete the In the Trenches Detour.

Road Block Count
In order of completion; Italics indicate who did this week’s Road Block

There was no aired Road Block this week.
2 Louie Michael 2
2 Steve Allie 2
2 Jet Cord 2
3 Dan Jordan 1
2 Carol Brandy 2
2 Brent Caite 1
2 Jordan Jeff 2
2 Joe Heidi 2

1 Monique Shawne 2
1 Jody Shannon 1
0 Dana Adrian 0

Order of Finish
1st Louie & Michael =
2nd Steve & Allie =
3rd Jet & Cord /
4th Dan & Jordan /
5th Carol & Brandy =
6th Brent & Caite* /
7th Jeff & Jordan /
Eliminated Joe & Heidi /
*Brent & Caite had to go back from the Pit Stop and obtain a clue they had missed.  It did not affect their placement.
My Subjective Team Rankings for Leg 5

Daniel & Jordan Dan & Jordan – It was all comedy from them this week.  Some hilarious moments from them, but all of the good stuff was almost negated by their lack of urgency.  I mean, come on guys.  What if you were last?  And what happened to the every minute counts?  I guess Jordan, being a TAR fan knows equalizers are always around the corner, but them just walking and letting the cowboys pass them was pretty crazy even if they did have teams behind them.
Jet & Cord Jet & Cord – The cowboys seemed to have settled out of the top spot.  Their comfortable two leg dominance seems to have transferred to the detectives, which can be credited more to the leg design than anything, which keeps the teams basically in the same position they were in last Pit Stop.  Not much to worry about from them, they just need to keep doing what they’re doing and they should be solid.
Steve & Allie Steve & Allie – Well, they’re popping up a little more often now, and it doesn’t appear they are slowing down any time soon.  They are definitely a dark horse, silently (literally) doing well in the Race.  They’re having fun and Racing well, always a perfect combination.
Brent & Caite Brent & Caite – If Steve & Allie have the right combination of fun and good Racing, Brent & Caite are halfway there.  They are definitely having fun and enjoying themselves, but since Leg 1, they haven’t been able to get the details straight.  Those little mistakes are not going to help keep them longer in the Race.
Joe & Heidi Joe & Heidi – Very unfortunate leg for them.  Maybe it was Joe’s fault after all.  Judging from the clips at, Joe’s rubbed other teams the wrong way for a while apparently so maybe they would’ve been the target of a U-Turn regardless of who it was that did it.  Still, it sucks that they had to go out this way.  It seems that side of the Detour was almost impossible to do even if you were calm and had a clear head.
Jordan & Jeff Jordan & Jeff – Tough luck for them last leg, amazing luck for them this leg.  It seemed like they were doomed from the start, but somehow, they were able to escape elimination again.  After five legs, it does seem like they will be their own undoing.  Whether it is their questionable level of knowledge or Jeff’s temper (which is definitely showing up here as it did on Big Brother last Summer),  they need to get it together if they want to survive another leg.  They can only hope for the same luck next leg.
Carol & Brandy Carol & Brandy – It is apparent that their pre-Race interviews of them saying they parking without a valet is roughing it for them was 100% true.  They were not happy crawling in the dirt and these last couple of legs have been full of frustration everything that gets them down and dirty or whenever things don’t go exactly their way.  Again, they could be a strong contender if it wasn’t for their short tempers and impatience.  It’s getting pretty old hearing them complaining every week.
Louie & Michael Louie & Michael – Well, if you haven’t heard, Louie has been accused of taking part in a police drug dealing ring.  As if I needed any more reason not to like this team.  Funny how they want to knock Joe down a peg or two for being too confident.  Umm, how about them these last two legs?  Not to mention their vow to finish first EVERY leg.  All of that and the howling and shots of them changing, easily my least favorite team this season if not the last two or three.
Quotes from Episode 16-05

Caite: “After the freaking guy hands me that baguette, I’m definitely going to eat the crap out of it.  Shove it down my throat.”

Caite: “I feel like I’m about to model some army clothes.  Out of styled army clothes.”

Jordan: “Should we pretend the enemy is chasing us and walk a little bit faster.”
Dan: “Jordan, I will if you will!”
Jordan: (in an English accent) “Okay, I’m just getting ready for war.  They’re right behind us sir!”
Dan: “Shut up!”
Jordan: “Hey bro?  I can’t walk that fast.”
Dan: “You wanted to run.”
Jordan: “Okay, I don’t want to run anymore then.  Just shut up, you proved your point!”
Dan: “You said you wanted to run!”
Jordan: “No I said ‘jog’.  It’s not like ‘Run, let me prove a point.  I’m faster than Jordan in a freakin’ World War I uniform.  I said ‘You want to pretend like an enemy is behind us and jog a little faster.”
Dan: “You think this is funny?”
Jordan: “I’m having so much fun right now.”
Dan: “You’re such a tool!”

Jordan: “This is not my cup of tea.  I don’t like guns.  I like swords.”

Brandy: “You take spinning three times a week!  You should be kicking my ass at this!”

Jeff: “Put your boobs on the ground and drag them over here.”

Episode Caps

<BR350 episode caps at xangatheamazingracecaps

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