Mac & Dennis are at their favorite classy, fancy Italian restaurant for their monthly dinner. Mac is looking forward to seeing a waiter spill spaghetti on himself, but Dennis wants things to be classy tonight.
Charlie and a toupee’d Frank walk in and tell the hostess that they’re celebrating the anniversary of them moving in together. Frank hands the hostess a big tip so they can get a good table, but really just wants to feel her breast.
The two pairs notice each other, but both prefer the other to come pay tribute to them. Dennis says they should keep their distance since they spend every minute together anyway.
Meanwhile, Dee watches them all from another table, alone. She can’t believe none of them have paid tribute to her yet when she was there first. She thinks they’re all making fun of her and making jokes, calling her scarecrow. But there’s nothing wrong with an adult woman taking herself to dinner, she says. Besides, she’s got a Groupon expiring tonight for the restaurant. The waiter is standing by her table and she asks if he’d like to join her. He just wants her order.
Dennis is annoyed that it’s been 10 minutes and Frank and Charlie have not even acknowledged them. Mac says they should just focus on them and he actually has something he wants to talk about. Dennis doesn’t want unpleasant, heavy shit. Even worse, they’re sitting right next to the kitchen and his chair’s wobbly.
Mac suggests they ask for a matchbook, but Dennis doesn’t “want to sit on a pile of matches.” Mac understands Dennis might be concerned the whole chair might catch on fire. The waiter says there’s no other table available since it’s Groupon night.
Dennis says he’s a full paying customer in this swarm of “coupon waving trash” and can’t even get a good table. He then decides to send Frank and Charlie one glass of red wine.
Frank tells Charlie to stop looking over to Dennis and Mac. But Charlie doesn’t want it to become a bigger deal. Anyway, Frank has prepared a few words for this special night.
He begins reading his speech, but is interrupted by the waiter bring them the glass of red wine. They look over to Dennis and Mac who raise their glasses.
Charlie thinks it’s a nice gesture and wants to stand and bow, but Frank says they’re doing this to agitate them.
Meanwhile, Dee waves a big black guy over and asks him to sit. She tells him there are a group of men who are watching her right now and she’s in a lot of shit, so she needs his help.
The waiter comes over and the man tells him “There’s some shit going down right now.” Dee says no, she just wanted him to take a seat.
“I don’t need this shit!” The man leaves. The waiter then tells Dee to just order quickly so she doesn’t have to be alone there too long.
The hostess tries to fix Dennis’ chair, but he’s still not comfortable. Like ex-father, like son, Dennis also tries to touch her breasts by giving her a tip. The waiter comes and Dennis asks for another chair. Mac decides to give him a big $1 tip to hurry with the chair. He takes the dollar and puts it in the waiter’s back pocket, but also seems to be feeling up his ass.
Dennis very much notices.
the waiter leaves a bottle of their most expensive wine courtesy of Frank and Charlie. Mac wants to bow, but Dennis says no. Instead, Deenis decides to pour it out in the bucket. Charlie and Mac stare at each other.
Charlie says they must have a good reason for pouring out the wine. Frank says, yeah, just like they have a good reason not inviting him to dinner.
“Don’t make me say it Charlie, I know you’re not as dumb as you seem.”
“Well, let’s just say that I am.”
Frank says Dennis and Mac don’t give a shit about him. The three of them bought a business together, but then made him a janitor. Charlie has an epiphany.
The waiter comes over to ask if he can take Dee’s extra chair over to Dennis. Dee thinks that’s a dig at her, so she asks the waiter to tie Dennis’ shoelaces together. He doesn’t want to and Dee makes fun. He, in turn, draws attention to him dragging the chair away from a still alone Dee.
Dennis is still unhappy with the chair and this entire night is ruined. Mac says Dennis is the one ruining the night. He only wanted to talk about an issue though.
Mac says when he wanted to buy a karaoke machine, Dennis laughed in his face. Mac feels it was Dennis putting him down and he can’t take it anymore. He gets up to go sit with Frank and Charlie, but Dennis tells him to sit.
Mac says not until Dennis says something nice about him for once in his life.
“Your hair looks small.”
Mac decides to sit back down and Dennis proceeds to recount the night he blew everyone’s “tits off” when he did a triple jackknife in the pool before going down on Crissy Orlando on the trampoline. The only reason he was able to muster up the courage to do that was because he knew Mac…
Suddenly, Frank and Charlie calls the attention of the restaurant. They have everyone in the restaurant given a shot glass of sambuca, except Mac and Dennis. They begin a toast to the soldier calling him an American hero then point to Dennis and Mac who they say refuse to drink.
“They hate America! They hate the troops. They hate the people who work hardest for them. They turn them into janitors.”
Everyone toasts and Dee joins the soldier’s table. Dennis can’t take the humiliation and gets up.
The waiter asks Dee to go back to her table, but she says she’ll stay with the soldier.
“I used to date a troop. He was craaazy for jean shots.”
Dennis takes the microphone and begins talking about a brave man.
“He doesn’t hide under a toupee. He faces his challenges instead of just retreating to the sewers, nude, and forage for rings and coins. Or to the toilets. Or to a life filled with rats. He’s the kind of man who gives me the courage to do an amazing double jackknife twist, which I did. … And to go down on Crissy Orlando on the trampoline later on the very same night. WHich I also did. And I licked her asshole a little bit. It was pretty good, it was alright. It wasn’t great. But it was fine and I knew that it was gonna be fine because this guy would be here to catch me if I faltered. The world is safer place when he’s around.”
Dennis then proceeds to sing two lines of “Wind Beneath My Wings,” waits for applause and heads back to the table. Mac has no idea Dennis was talking about him. But he’s touched when Dennis tells him. Suddenly, the AC starts blowing strong right above them. It was Frank and Charlie.
That does it. Mac takes a vase of flowers to smash over their heads and Dennis takes the fire extinguisher. Meanwhile, Charlie plans to throw hot soup in their face and Frank will pinch their dicks with the lobster.
They all stand up and walk towards each other with the waiter noticing and asking what they’re about to do when suddenly he trips and bumps into another waiter holding plates of spaghetti.
He falls with spaghetti all over him.
The four guys share a laugh. Frank notices the waiter’s shoelaces are tied together. Dennis asks who he should thank for such a joke and Dee stands up, “Oops!”
The guys cheer Dee. You’ve been here the whole time? they realize and the five members of the Gang toast to each other. Dennis wants them all to share a table and especially wants to hear some jokes from Dee tonight.
That was great. I made the mistake of reading other people’s comments about the episode before writing this, and was surprised a lot of people thought it was boring and dull.
I loved it. Definitely not the weakest of the season (that goes to Episode 7).
This episode was classic Sunny. One location, everyone there playing their own little games like only the Gang could.
The most surprising thing about tonight though was that next week is the season finale. What!?!? Only 10 episodes this season? No wonder they started late.
But that was definitely news to me. I guess the “Mac is Gay” episode will be saved for next year? Feeling up that guy’s ass. Clever for the writers to lead in to that moment with Frank and Dennis feeling up the hostess’ boob.
It was a simple Sunny episode and I always prefer the simple stories over the more elaborate, out there ones.
It’s great to see the Gang always coming together in the end, even though, I think this episode highlighted it, they have plenty of reasons to be bitchy to one another.
lol Season 8 is still shaping up to be their funniest season though. Hopefully the season finale next week will complete it.
Shoutout to Jack Guzman who played the troop. Black Wild Force Ranger!
A detailed recap is nice and all, but you know what’s even better? Actually watching the full episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!
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