Trash is everywhere, including inside Paddy’s, since Philly’s garbagemen are on strike. Frank notes how they get paid $20/hour, yet still want more.
“These guys are blasting us in the ass.”
“We pay their salaries and they turn around and ass-blast us?”
“What are you talking about, you don’t pay taxes. You don’t even vote!”
“Who am I supposed to vote for? The Republican who’s blasting me in the ass or the Democrat who’s blasting me in the ass?”
“Politics is one big ass blast.”
Frank says the trash business is a gold mine, so they should find a way to get in it.
“Yeah, Frank’s right, let’s pull up our bootstraps, oil up a couple of asses and do a little plowing of our own.”
“Not gay sex. … We’re going to solve the trash crisis.”
This seems all very familiar to Dee.
“Shut up, bird.”
Frank lays out his plan. Mac, Dennis and Charlie will rent a van, drive to rich people’s homes and offer to take their trash for a fee. They’ll then drive the trash to a dump in New Jersey where they aren’t striking. Meanwhile, Frank will dress Dee up “like a whore” to bribe a city official into giving them the trash contract, undermining the trash unions.
The Gang has questions though. Charlie says it didn’t work for them the last time they went door to door in a van. This time it will, Frank says.
Mac says it’ll be harder for him to hang onto the back of a van like it would be to hang onto the back of a trash truck. Frank says they can’t be caught scabbing.
Dennis doesn’t want to be a trash man, he’d rather bribe the city official with Frank. Frank says he needs a lady whore.
And Dee doesn’t care for being a lady whore. She’s already done it and doesn’t want to do it again. Frank says it worked before, but Dee didn’t listen to him.
Frank asks them how many times they’ve done this sort of thing before. Lots of times, they say, but they never work. Frank says it’s because they never listen to him. This time, they do it his way.
Dennis, Charlie and Mac head to a used car lot and Charlie is lost. But that’s not important right now. Dennis doesn’t want to be a trash man and Mac can’t hang onto the back of a van. The two of them want to give up, but Charlie says they can’t give up so easily this time. Maybe they just need to tweak Frank’s outdated plan. They decide to get a limo and dress up in tuxedos.
“In the 1950s, yeah you could drive around door to door in a windowless van, people didn’t think they were going to get raped. Now, they will think that.”
This solves their problem, people will like to get their trash picked up by men in tuxedos, the limo has plenty of room, and the real trash men won’t know they’re scabbing. Mac is happily hanging on to the back of the limo.
Meanwhile, Frank and Dee are at a politician’s office. Frank is upset because Dee isn’t dressed like a whore. She prefers to present herself as a powerful lady in a business suit.
“You present yourself as a banana.”
Well, at least sex it up a little bit, Frank says and proceeds to rip off an arm from her blazer.
“Oh great. This doesn’t look powerful or sexy. Good job Frank.”
The politician comes in and they recognize each other. It’s the “gay guy that wanted to buy Paddy’s,” Frank recalls.
“Huh, I did not picture this guy getting recycled back in the mix.”
So much for the sex appeal angle, Frank says. But Dee says, I dunno, “why don’t you sex it up.”
Dee starts ripping off Frank’s shirt and he does the same to her.
“How about you be the whore? Why don’t you be the whore?! Why don’t you show some skin!?”
The politician asks them to stop it.
“You like what you see?”
In the rich neighborhood, the guys are making sure they have their plan straight. Dennis confiscates Mac’s knife, otherwise he or Charlie might stab someone. Dennis says he’ll do the talking, but that might not be a good idea. Mac offers to do the talking, but he has bugs in his teeth from having his mouth open while hanging on to the back of the limo. So Dennis comes up with another tweak.
They show up at a rich lady’s door and they begin singing like a barbershop quartet. They lady stops them, she likes the song, but she’s more interested in getting the trash off her front yard. She pays them $200.
Frank and Dee bring the politician to a gay bar.
“Why are we here?”
“Because you are a power bottom.”
Frank makes his offer, they can pick up the trash for half the price of the union. That’s not happening, the politician says and he asks to leave.
“I don’t get it. We take you to a titty bar and you say ‘no’ to us, We bring you to this place with all these juicy dongs and you shut us down. What team are you playing for!?”
Before the politician can answer, Dee says she thinks she knows what going on here. The politician has been “realigned,” that he’s a yestergay, someone who goes from label to label trying to find their gay home. She suspects this man has gone from a twink to a twunk (twink and a hunk) to a twank (twink and a skank).
She explains to Frank what those mean, as well as what an otter is compared to a bear. (Power through quickness instead of just sheer mass.)
“I , for one, am of the belief that some things can’t be thrown in the trash, Frank, and your sexuality is one of them.”
“I totally agree. Some cocks can’t be unsucked.”
After their informational conversation, they are surprised the politician hasn’t slinked away. He couldn’t, since Frank is pointing his gun at him under the table. Oops. Frank and Dee decide to slink away themselves.
The guys are getting lots of money… and lots of garbage. They seem to be having fun, until they’re not. Their tuxes are ruined, the limo is covered in seagull poop.
“The gulls, are shitting, all over me.”
They decide to quit Frank’s plan and instead take one of their old plans and recycle it. Of course, that plan is selling gas door to door. They are happy about their solid friendship, so much so Mac goes in for a kiss with Dennis.
“Let’s just dump [the garbage] in a poor neighborhood because they don’t mind living in their own filth.”
The boys are back in town.
Across town, Frank interrupts the union meeting and addresses the workers about not believing their union leader and they should continue to strike.
Suddenly, Martina Martinez shows up.
“These white boys is crazy, right? Youse about to get screwed by yo city and yo union as well.”
The union rep tries to grab the mic away and Martina cries rape.
“This white boy’s got his hands all over my beautiful brown body. Now, why is it that my Latino and my proud African brothers gotta be doin’ all the work while these crazy ass bitches doin the negotiatin. Let me acks you sumthin. Why we got to be the trash man and the maids and the gardners, hmm? Why we got to live near the trash dumps and the ghettos, we deserve better!”
The crowd cheers.
“When was the last time a white lady pick up after you when you threw your orange soda and your grape sodas, on the ground!”
She’s losing the crowd… until she sees, but doesn’t recognize, Dennis, Charlie and Mac dumping the trash nearby.
“OH MY GOD!” The white upper class man have no respect for us, they dumpin their trash in our neighborhoods!”
The guys are singing their gas pitch while dumping all the bags of garbage. Martina and Frank then incite the crowd into a mob to go after the white upper class men.
The guys run into the limo while the mob attacks the limo and puts their hands all over the gull poop.
Back at Paddy’s they have a beer.
“We should get rugs for the bar.”
“We should make rugs for the bar.”
“We could put on a show where we play rug salesmen.”
Charlie says, No! They give up too easily. They can just make some adjustments.
“If you want to be classy and you think you’re good with city council and think you can get him, then good. Be classy and bang the guy! Go get him!”
“I’ll get him, but I’m not gonna bang him.”
“Be careful, he’s a twank versatile. You watch yourself.”
“Ooo! I wouldn’t be able to satisfy him. A twank versatile? That’s impressive.”
Charlie rallies the troops. Let’s solve this trash crisis!
They get a windowsless van. Dennis will do the talking, Frank and Mac take care of the trash and Dee takes over as driver. Charlie still wants to be the wild card. And to do that, he cuts their brakes!
“WILD CARD BITCHES!!!!!! YEEHAW!!!!!!!!!”
Charlie puts on a cowboy hat and jumps out the back of the van. Everyone screams and Dennis goes to close the door.
Mac actually had the brakes fixed knowing Charlie’d be a wild card again.
They go to their first house and everything’s a go… until a trash truck starts down the street. The strike’s over.
Off to the rugs!
This was definitely classic, random Sunny. I loved it.
The brand new barbershop trio, getting schooled on twinks and twanks (though do we really need to be?), wild card Charlie, and again dipping into the Sunny world to bring back Richard Ruccolo. And Mac first referring to blasting asses then trying to kiss Dennis… something there?
The Sunny gang is clever.
But while awesome to see Martina Martinez, I think the bit wasn’t as funny this time. Maybe because the original moment was so classic and so epic. But I think Kaitlin, while always hilarious, didn’t quite get the original Martina. Still fun, but I don’t think any future appearance of Martina will match the very first.
Overall, I dunno, this could be one of my favorite episodes in a long time. Now if there ever was an episode that needed to be watched and rewatched instead of reading about it, it’s this one! Too many hilarious exchanges and lines to get the full effect from just this recap.