The Gang is getting ready to go watch the biggest movie in America, Thunder Gun Express, but they only have 23 minutes to get the theater. Frank pops in and says traffic is backed up thanks to Obama being in town. The Gang fills him in on the movie.
“No hesitation… No surrender. No man left behind!”
Dee and Dennis are most excited about the guy in the moving hanging dong. Frank decides to tag along, even though he doesn’t have a ticket, and they end up stuck in traffic.
“It’s all these goddamn immigrants coming to see Obama, none of them have any insurance so they drive so slow.”
Since the traffic is at a stand still, everyone but Dennis who is driving gets out and walks.
They run into barricades all over and after talking to a cop who also loves the movie (and the hanging dong), they run after a trolley. But Frank gets left behind.
“We’ll come back for you!!!”
After being criticized for taking too slow banging chicks earlier from Mac, Dennis pops in a cassette of one of his conquests while still not moving. Meanwhile, Frank hijacks a tour boat full of Chinese tourists and tells them about the water full of Philly’s dead bodies as they speed up the river.
Charlie, Dee and Mac are a couple of blocks away from the theater now, but another barricade. Charlie suggests they head down through the gutter into the sewers. But Mac is against it and as Charlie and Dee suspect, it’s because he’s fat and disgusting. They leave him behind. But Mac decides to steal a motorcycle… only, he doesn’t know how to drive one. So he takes off running instead.
Back in the car, Dennis is horrified he still has a tape of him and a 16 year old DENNIS system’d girl. He tries to eject it and then hits the car in front of him. But things turn up when the driver of that car is a big breasted woman.
Down in the sewer, Charlie asks if they can get naked. He says if a wall of water comes through, the piss and shit will just wash over them and they can hold their clothes above their heads so they can have dry, clean clothes afterwards. Dee won’t do it. This isn’t sexual, Charlie says, but suddenly Dee’s heel gets caught in a grate on the floor.
Charlie leaves her and Dee hears what could be the wall of piss and shit just around the corner.
Across town, Dennis has just about seduced the big breasted Latina woman when Mac comes jumping into the car to interrupt them. She was actually going to see Thunder Gun too, so now that the traffic is moving, they’re on their way.
On the water, Frank continues entertaining the tour group with stories of him and the Gang, especially Charlie (sleeping together, shitting in the bed, Nightman Cometh and boys’ holes).
Frank tells the group that he’s jumping off here and he leaves them in the boat. No surrender, he says… until he has to surrender to the police waiting for him.
At the theater, Mac’s got a comfy seat right in the middle. Charlie comes running in and their “yell across the theater” plan to get people to switch seats so they can sit together works. Dee arrives too, she happily yells to Charlie that she’s got shit in her hair, but her clothes are dry. She gets to sit next to them too. Mac tells them Dennis is getting a hand job from the big breasted Mexican woman up top.
Frank’s at the police station and they give him his one phone call. So he calls 911 and reports a bomb threat at the theatre. Goddamn it, they got Thundergunned.
Episode Thoughts
So it was an interesting episode. I thought it had a good pace and was building up nicely to a punchline… that never came.
The ending was very anti-climactic. I felt like everything else was great build up and Sunny has had plenty of episodes before that kept building up and collecting ammo the entire episode for one huge, hilarious punchline. But this episode was not one of them.
Again though, lots of great stuff otherwise. Charlie wanting to get naked with Dee in the sewer, Dennis’ DENNIS System still going strong, Frank’s inappropriate stories for the Asian tourists, Mac now conscious about his weight. And of course, a brand new phrase to enter the lexicon… “hang dong.”
I will assume “hang dong” refers to a man who goes pantsless, whether it be in film or in real life. Full frontal… literally, dong that is hanging out. I think that alone is enough to make up for the let down of an ending.
A detailed recap is nice and all, but you know what’s even better? Actually watching the full episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!
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