It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia 7.01 – Frank’s Pretty Woman

Dee and Charlie are trying to convince Dennis into adopting a pitbull for fun just as Frank walks into Paddy’s with Roxy, a prostitute he is planning to marry. Roxy calls them “cocks” and heads outside to smoke. Frank wants to marry her so she can stop “plowing other dudes.” Even Tiger Woods has been calling her, Frank says.

The gang does not think that’s a good idea at all. Mac walks in eating a chimichanga and tells the others there’s some dirty woman blowing the busboy from down the street in the alley and the gang turns their attention to how fat and horrible Mac looks.

He insists it is muscle mass, the others agree he’s fat. Back to Frank, Dee suggests they Pretty Woman Roxy and Frank gives them 24 hours to do whatever they have to before he “proposes to that dirty whore.”

They take Roxy back to Dee’s apartment and try to figure out what to do with her as she is sprawled across the couch drinking. She calls Dennis “baby dick” and that’s it for him. He decides to let Dee take care of her while he tries to do something about Mac and his garbage bag of Mexican foods.

He takes Mac to the doctor for blood tests to prove he’s screwing up his body. But the doctor informs Dennis he’s dehydrated, anemic and has low blood pressure. Probably thanks to his routine of skipping meals.

Meanwhile, Mac has type two diabetes. But as Dennis is close to fainting, he decides to give him something to eat.

Dee takes a drunk Roxy to a fancy boutique. Roxy takes a liking to a “tight as dick skin” leather jacket. The sales guy comes over and implies Roxy and Dee have no business touching the expensive clothes. They take offense as the manager comes over. Roxy takes out a wad of cash from her bag. The manager asks to speak with the sales guy.

Roxy says she’s got to meet a client, Tiger Woods. Dee is amazed by everything and has a change of heart.

As Charlie and Frank are boiling some denim they found in a box under the bridge, Charlie tells him about his plan to find a better woman for him. Thanks to a dating website, Charlie has set up a date. He’ll pose as a Texas millionaire and Frank will be the limo driver. Charlie will pretend to get sick and then suggest she finish the date with Frank.

They pick the lady up. In the limo, they have some conversation. Frank butts in with bridge stories when suddenly blood starts spraying out of Charlie’s mouth right on to the lady. Frank pulls over and the woman runs off in horror. Charlie took a bunch of blood capsules for maximum effect.

Frank misses Roxy so Charlie takes him home.

Roxy’s invited Tiger Woods over to Dee’s place. She opens the door to see a man… who is not Tiger Woods. He’s actually just a guy with a foot fetish who pays Roxy $500 to let him rub her feet. They notice Dee’s huge feet and maybe there’s room for her too.

At Paddy’s, Dennis is discovering the wonder of chimichangas as Mac injects himself with insulin. He asks Dennis what he wants most in the entire world and Dennis says he wants crack. Oh, okay, Mac says. They get a call from the rest of the gang and they head over to Charlie’s.

They spread flower petals on the floor as Dee and Roxy walk in.

Frank gets on his knees.

“You are good shit. And I want to make this legit. I’m still gonna pay you, but I want you to stop banging other guys. Whattaya say? You want to be my wife, or what?”

Roxy collapses. Frank checks. She’s got no pulse.

Dee says she’s been drinking and smoking crack the whole way over and she gets the phone to call 911, but Charlie says maybe they shouldn’t. A dead hooker? He’s covered in blood? They need to think of something else.

Charlie suggests they leave her out in the hall and then call in an anonymous tip from a pay phone. Frank says Roxy would’ve wanted it that way. He says a few words.

“Roxy. God bless ya. You were a good whore. You serviced me like no other whore ever did. Not only my crank, but my heart. And I’m gonna miss ya. Amen.”

“Pretty Woman” kicks in and they drag the “dead whore” out into the hall as they leave.

Episode Thoughts
Well, first of all, yay! #sunnyfx is back for another season.
Great seeing the Gang back on TV.

But as for the episode, it will probably not go down as one of my favorites. Roxy had some hilarious moments, but overall I thought the premiere fell a little flat. Not as funny as it could have been.

Really, none of Frank wanting to marry a “dirty whore,” fatMac, Dennis’ hummingbird leg lifts, Dee becoming a “foot girl” really stood out as anything memorable.

One interesting thing though is Charlie continuing to somehow grow out of his illiterate, goofy, glue-sniffing self. He was probably the most sane in the Gang in this episode and that continues what started last season where Charlie almost seemed like the smartest and most level headed one when before he’d be the one dealing with foot fetishes and insulin injections. Should be interesting to see where they take Charlie.

So overall, not the strongest start to the season, but Sunny definitely has off episodes here and there.

A detailed recap is nice and all, but you know what’s even better? Actually watching the full episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!
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