Recap: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, Episode 9.10 – The Gang Squashes Their Beefs
Dennis and Mac head to Mondo Video to rent the unrated director’s cut of Thunder Gun Express which has some extra, longer dong. They’ll be watching it for Thanksgiving. But when they get to the counter, who comes out from the back but the McPoyles. They’ve bought the store and are ready to corner the market on home video sales.
Liam has a flesh colored patch over his eye because of it getting eaten at his bath salt wedding. Plus, he lost his sense of depth perception. And because of all the Gang has done against them, they are no longer welcome to rent videos from here.
They head back to Paddy’s. Charlie is upset because Frank won’t pay their rent until the heat is fixed, but the landlord, Hwang, won’t fix the heat until they pay rent. Dee then tells the guys that she had to get their hoagies from the gas station because Gail the Snail works at their favorite Wawa and she won’t serve her.
They realize they’ve got beef with everyone around town and Dennis says it’s time they squashed them at a special Thanksgiving dinner.
Dennis and Mac’s apartment is all decorated for the special day. Dennis says this is what the first Thanksgiving was all about, the Pilgrims and the Indians squashing their beef. Mac mentions that he invited Bruce Mathis since Thanksgiving is supposed to be for families.
Charlie asks which would they be, Pilgrims or Indians? Frank says Pilgrims since they came out on top. But Dee says maybe not since today, Indians have sports teams, casinos and are a very celebrated people. Plus, people don’t wear tall hats with buckles anymore, Charlie adds.
Dennis gets them back on track. He’s written up a peace treaty for their guests to sign.
Charlie asks when they should serve the squash and beef. Mac has a bucket of dirt and a hatchet so they could have a ceremonial burying of the hatchet. And Dee has a towel and slate so they can wipe the slate clean.
They put on “Genius of Love” to set the mood. Hwang is the first guest to arrive, then the McPoyles.
Dennis and Mac tell Dee to break the ice with the McPoyles. Liam has a new eye patch with an eye drawn on it. It is very off-putting.
Cricket walks in, inviting himself when he heard they were squashing beef. They tell him to leave, but he says he doesn’t mind eating food off the floor like a dog. Dennis gets him to sign the treaty and shoos him away.
While Frank and Hwang stare at each other across the room, Dennis and Mac talk to the McPoyles in the bedroom to get them to sign the treaty. Liam will not sign it until they apologize. And he thought they were going to give him an eye.
Either they apologize or give him an eye and he’ll sign the treaty. They conference and decide they’ll have to look for an eye.
Dee asks Charlie what kind of meat he’s gotten since it smells funny when the doorbell rings. It’s Gail the Snail. She got beef with Dee.
Dee and Charlie cringe at her snailness before asking what they need to do to squash the beef. Gail wants Dee to be her best friend, yo. Charlie asks for a compromise and Gail says just for today then. Dee agrees to the plan.
Now Charlie brings Frank and Hwang into the bedroom to take care of their beef.
Charlie gets them to agree about the crackers needing more salt and about doctors being shits for controlling what they eat. Charlie proposes Frank pay half the rent so Hwang can fix the heat and Frank would give the other half when the jobs done.
Hwang agrees, but Frank says he is not going to let Hwang beat him. He has the entire month’s rent in cash right now, but won’t give it to Hwang. Instead, he lights the wad of cash on fire and tosses at Hwang.
Dennis and Mac ask Cricket to give them his only eye and he decides to think about it.
Someone rings the doorbell and it’s a random jabroni. Actually is Zachary Knighton who played a random guy the Gang mistook for Bruce and ended up blowing up his car. It seems they’ve made the same mistake twice. They let him in.
Bill Ponderosa pops in and is still a big piece of shit. Dee asks Dennis and Mac why is Ponderosa there and they explain that they hoped the blame from Liam’s eyeloss would go back to Bill (since it was his bath salts after all).
But things are getting way too confusing, there’s too many people there.
They all finally sit down for their meal. Dennis makes a speech and says Thanksgiving is all about making peace. He shows them the peace treaty and they all appear amenable to it.
First off, Bill Ponderosa. They ask if he has anything he wants to admit. And he does, he admits breaking into Dee’s apartment to sniff her panties.
No, no. Dennis and Mac explain to the McPoyles that it was Bill Ponderosa who put the bath salts in the punch. Ponderosa says he only remembers his sponsor Frank giving him the greenlight to get shithoused that night. The McPoyles turn their anger towards Frank.
Charlie tries to calm them down because Frank needs to focus on his beef with Hwang. Gail asks Frank if he’s jealous that she’s giving Hwang a “handy” under the table.
“She’s mashing it.”
Dee asks who the jabroni is and she remembers he’s the guy whose car they blew up. Dennis gets the guy to admit his drug problems and Bill Ponderosa offers some nice “nose clams” that Frank wants to take part in too.
Charlie tries to get Frank to focus and tries to hand the treaty over to Hwang to sign. Gail wants to sign, but ewe, not with her hand.
Frank wants Gail to give him a handy too. Dee decides it’s time they wipe the slate clean, but Mac is upset because his hatchet burying was supposed to be first.
Everyone starts talking over each other and Gail yells “Food fight!” They all start hurling food at each other and the Gang escapes to the kitchen. Liam throws the hatchet at Frank, but instead lodges into Cricket’s arm.
They smell something burning and Mac opens his room to see it is on fire. Frank admits he may have started a money fire.
Dennis has an idea. The head outside and lock everyone else inside. Dennis says they won’t burn to death since there’s a fire escape and they’ll call 911 anyway.
Besides, it’s their only way to escape. They realize beefs are best left simmering. To jam the beef deep down inside and “press forward.”
Dee suggests they just buy Thunder Gun and go to a different Wawa. It’s inconvenient, but it’s better than facing their problems or saying they’re sorry. They go to Charlie’s apartment to enjoy Thanksgiving with just them, together.
“I hate people who are different than me!”
Aww, one big happy family, the Gang.
It was a hilarious, crazy, random episode and it was a fine one to wrap the season with. Especially ending on the Gang realizing all they need is each other. Sweet.
I will say, I was a little disappointed in Gail the Snail though. I was expecting a lot more. No mention of salts even. (Well, other than bath salts.) They didn’t give Mary Lynn Rajskub enough opportunity to really be as gross as we know she can be. (Hehe.)
The McPoyles were strangely subdued too. And we never found out what kind of meat Charlie was cooking. But it was all still fun.
Overall, season 9 continued Sunny‘s improbable streak of being TV’s most consistently funny and excellent show. Season 10 can’t come soon enough!