It’s a heat wave in Philly and Mac and Charlie want to cool off at the pool. Since the public pool is gross, they go to a private swim club. But they aren’t allowed in without being sponsored by two existing members. That and they can’t have beer in the pool. The attendant says the pool is “at capacity” and suggests they try the public pool.
They leave and realize they are lower class, that’s why they won’t be let in. They are definitely not going to go to the disgusting, gross public pool. So they head to their old childhood diving pool. But it’s been fenced off and full of garbage. Trash. They decide to fix up the pool.
They want to get Frank to invest in rehabilitating their pool so they have a whole presentation ready for him back at the bar. He doesn’t like it.
Dennis and Dee say this is all because of being rejected by the swim club. Mac says they don’t know how he and Charlie felt since they weren’t there. Dennis and Dee say they would never know how they felt because they would have easily walked into the swim club. They’re high class. They were born upper class. It doesn’t have anything to do with present circumstances. Frank doesn’t care about upper or lower class. He’s in the fringe class.
They all feel like going to the pool. Frank suggests popping a hydrant.
“I’m not popping shit. That’s about as low class as it gets.”
Dennis and Dee decide to go to the swim club, dressed very high classy.
But the pool is “at capacity” for them too. They can’t believe it. Dee suggests giving the guy a little sweetness, but he won’t take it and says they’re just embarrassing themselves now.
Dennis and Dee now don’t think they want to be part of such an elitist, exclusionary swim club.
“I bet you don’t even have any black people here.”
“Excuse me, ma’am, but there is an African-American family right there.”
“Oh, well good for you, you keep a couple of token ones around, do you? Parade ’em around like dancing monkeys. … That’s not, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s a phrase. It means performing on command…”
The guy suggests the public pool. The siblings say they will, because they have class, and having class means being able to mix with people beneath you.
“Your shirt doesn’t even fit by the way. Want to be an elitist, get yourself a tailor!”
Dee then blows snot out of her nose onto the guy’s arm, but she and Dennis agree that was a little low class.
They arrive at the public pool.
“This is like a goddamn zoo!”
They notice everyone has sneakers on… even in the pool. They realize maybe this is just a little bit of culture shock. Frank comes up to them, already in his swimming trunks. He tried to pop a hydrant but got shot down. He borrowed a towel “fringe-style” from a very overweight man who wanted a bite of Frank’s hot dog.
Across town, Charlie and Mac are starting to clean up their pool. Charlie asks Mac to come down to help him chuck a mattress up. Mac uses the mattress to get down into the pool, they chuck it up and realize they have no way of getting out of the very deep pool.
Dennis and Dee are huddled together in the corner of the pool. Dee steps on shards of broken glass in the pool. They realize now why people are wearing shows. Frank comes over with a greased watermelon to throw into the pool for people to fight over. It’s a game.
They get out of the pool and Dee decides to call Mac and Charlie to see if their pool is much better. Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie are getting snippy at each other. Mac tries to do backflips and frontflips out of the pool, but Charlie isn’t having any of it.
Charlie answers his phone, but Mac doesn’t want him to say they are trapped.
“Being stuck in an abandoned pool is extremely low class.”
Mac takes the phone and he and Dee pretend they are each having a grand ol’ time in their respective high class pools.
After they hang up, Mac asks Charlie where he got his phone. Charlie’s been buying pre-paid phones for a while now. Mac realizes they’re drug dealer phones, burners.
“This is a very specific sect of lower class. This is like, felon-class.”
They decide to call for food. The delivery guy would be able to help them out. Charlie wants high class Chinese food, but Mac says the Chinese delivery guy won’t be able to speak or understand English. So they decide to order pizza.
Back at the
shit hole public pool, the kids are throwing rocks at each other for fun and one of them hits Dee on the forehead. Dennis has had it, they’re going to give the swim club another go. Frank comes over, eating the greased watermelon. He asks them to grease him up now so he can be the watermelon.
Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie are playing rocks too. They truce when the pizza delivery guy comes. He’s Chinese! They asks him to help them out. They pay him first, but they don’t have money. Charlie doesn’t have front pockets because he cut them out so they wouldn’t overshoot the short shorts. They pay him Mac’s gold chain but it’s fake. The delivery guy throws down the pizza like a jerk so it falls all over the floor. They ask him to throw the hose down so he can pull them up. The guy leaves.
Mac tries to climb up the hose but it breaks and water begins pouring into the pool.
“Don’t you understand? This pool is our bootstraps and it is lifting us up into the middle class dude.”
“Well just accept the fact that you’re white trash, alright? Take a look at yourself, you can’t do backflips, you don’t know karate, you’re white trash.”
Mac says Charlie’s shorts are white trash, but Charlie says Dennis told him about them and he shows Mac that he can spread his legs out wide. How can that be white trash?
Dennis and Dee are back at the swim club and try to persuade a mother and her children to sponsor them. Frank joins them after some lady started scratching at him at the pool.
The attendant comes and the lady overreacts and tells him “These people are bleeding all over the place.”
The family leaves and the guy tells them they can’t go in. Dennis decides to run in (Frank wants to piss in it) but another guy tackles Dennis into a table of glass.
Night falls and back to Mac and Charlie, they are doing a memorial for Jamie Nelson who drowned in the pool. They draw on the wall and want to ward off his spirit from them. Charlie wants to do voodoo.
“Well it’s not called voodoo, this is the Lord, our Savior.”
Mac starts (“Lamb of God, who taketh away the souls…”) while Charlie starts with incoherent voodoo.
“Don’t undermine my prayer with voodoo.”
Dennis, Dee, and Frank arrive and Mac realizes they didn’t get into the pool either.
“Admit you are low class, just like us!”
They all start fighting, but Frank has an idea on how to beat the heat “Philly style.”
They head to a fire hydrant, Frank pops it and the guys cool off in the spray with Dee taking care of the hydrant with a cup.
The show seems to have bounced back nicely after their lackluster first two episodes. It was another simple, yet fun episode this week.
So far this season, I like Dennis and Dee hanging out a lot together. In the more recent seasons, Dee was pretty much relegated to being the guys’ punching bag. But she and Dennis have been awesomely hilarious this season, being able to be twins again.
Also, it has been great having Mac and Charlie being their crazy selves together again too. And Frank being the fringe guy he is, popping up anywhere and everywhere.
They’ve definitely toned down the outrageousness and so far, it’s been great. A good change and refreshing.