The gang gathers at the bar where Frank is complaining about his domestic partnership with Charlie. He’s not getting anything in return and is glad he got Charlie to sign a pre-nup. Charlie thought it was a phone bill so he signed it.
While Mac is bathing himself in the bar sink, Dee tells everyone about how obsessed Bill Ponderosa is with her, so much that he’s given her a new car. The others point out how she’s sleeping with a married man, but it’s not her fault since she’s not the one that’s married. She isn’t going to be passing up free cars.
Dennis meanwhile wants a bachelor party and gets Mac to give him one. Frank is excited about it, “I gotta get my hetero on!”
At the strip club, after Mac shows everyone the motorcycle dance move (and Charlie tops him), Dennis gets a text from Maureen… and another.
Frank wants to “make it rain” and they ask one of the strippers how much for a couples dance, for which, Charlie shows her a laminated document showing they are legally a couple. They still gotta pay full price so Frank’ll go make it rain on his own.
Meanwhile, Dee goes home to find Bill at her door. He came clean to his wife and now has nowhere to stay. “Shit’s getting pretty real for ya, huh?!” He wonders if he can stay with her and she reluctantly lets him in after guilting her with the car.
Dennis and Mac arrive completely smashed at the apartment with a signature Sunny music interlude of “Boys Are Back in Town,” waking up Maureen. She tells them to keep quiet, but Dennis wants to do some shots and invites her. She doesn’t drink because she thinks it makes people look ugly.
Mac finds out his old room has been turned into Maureen’s craft studio where she “makes terrible sweatshirts out of cats, or puts cats in sweatshirts and then I’m like ‘Dude! What the hell did you do?”
She wants a little respect from Dennis as his wife, but he says he’s not sure if she is his wife because he married Maureen Ponderosa and “You are no Maureen Ponderosa!”
”DIVORCE! I will divorce you Maureen. I’ll do it!”
“I’m totally drunk, but my mind is sober. And my mind is telling me the following: I don’t love you Maureen! I don’t love you. I never loved you. You’re annoying and you’re strange.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything because everytime you open your mouth, I’m like, ugghh! It’s like your breath, it’s always… so bad! It’s like a dead tooth… It’s the dead tooth, I’m saying it! I’ll say it, you have a dead tooth, you realize that right? And I hate it! And it’s annoying!”
She fires back… “I want you and your boytoy out of my apartment, now!”
They laugh at her absurdity, but she threatens to call the cops and tell them he beat her. They laugh some more until she starts beating her chest like Marky Mark in Fear.
They leave, realizing this isn’t good!
Next morning, Dee wakes up to find Bill wearing her robe in his underwear, legs wide open. She’s over him now. She doesn’t want to see his balls. And she wants him out. Now. But she wants to keep the car. She tells him to go talk it over with his wife and he asks for a ride.
Dennis is now bathing in the bar sink with Mac after getting kicked out of the apartment. They discuss getting a divorce when Charlie and Frank come arguing through the door.
“You bring nothing to the table!
Where do all the groceries come from Frank!? Oh, how did my laundry get so clean?! Oh, who washed all the dishes today!?”
“Nobody washes the dishes, we eat the food directly off the coffee table, and you know it!”
Frank wants to pull the plug on the marriage. He’s going to flush it down the toilet.
Charlie tells him to go ahead, but they will get a mediator first. Frank suggests they get the Brian Unger-played lawyer since he’s always
gotten caught up in their schemes helped them out. They remember he slapped them with a restraining order, so Charlie suggests a family member.
Dee drives Bill over to his house in the brand new BMW Roadster and he tells her to wait for him, just in case. She uses the time to call Dennis from the car phone, who hangs up on her anyway, when all of a sudden Bill comes running toward the car with both his kids over his shoulders, kidnapping them. He tells Dee to drive off.
Charlie’s uncle lawyer meets with Charlie and Frank. He has some kind of hand fetish, but they get right down to business.
Charlie and Frank fight over the hot plate, but Frank budges and lets Charlie have it. Uncle lawyer moves on to the couple’s art holdings… some of Charlie’s elephant drawings that he made for Frank. Frank wants to keep them, he likes them.
Uncle lawyer suggests they get an annulement instead to void their partnership. He gives them a paper to dissolve their partnership and they sign. Done!
Dee comes in to the bar to get some help with the crazy Ponderosa kidnapping. They hear a woman outside yelling at Bill. They all go outside and Dee goes to apologize to his wife… oops, wait, she’s his mistress.
Just then, Bill’s wife arrives and takes their children home. She asks Dee…
“How much dose he owe you whore? How much does he owe you for the sex?”
Dee tells her she’s not a prostitute.
“Well congratulations, you’re the only woman he didn’t have to pay to sleep with. You must be very proud of yourself.”
Bill’s other mistress drives off in her BMW.
Mac and Dennis go to the apartment with Uncle lawyer (whose name we just find out to be Jack Kelly) and are shocked to find Brian Unger-lawyer there with Maureen. After finding out about the divorce (thanks to a drunk 3am call from Mac), Unger-lawyer couldn’t help but insert himself into the situation and provide services to Maureen for free!
The two lawyers go into the craft studio to discuss the divorce details, Uncle Jack very interested in Unger-lawyer’s wonderful hands.
They come out and announce Dennis keeps the apartment, but also inherits Maureen’s $90,000 debt, plus alimony payments.
Raw deal. But Dennis is a free man.
And Uncle Jack lawyer gets a picture for his website with Unger-lawyers hands on top of his.
Definitely an interesting episode that probably would’ve been better airing right after last week’s premiere. Not the strongest Sunny episode, but it keeps the show’s knack of getting the gang out of trouble almost unscathed everytime.
It seems like everytime they get themselves into a jam or think they’ve gone really low, there’s always someone else who is unbelievably more idiotic or horrible than them, which is a hilariously awesome way to keep these crazies loveable.