Recap: The Amazing Race (11) All-Stars, Episode 5 – “That’s a huge damn rat.”



EPISODE 11-05: YOU NEED TO WATCH YOUR JOKES, GUY

“How will Rob & Amber’s elimination affect the other teams?” Uh… not at all? There’s really no effect at all really, other than how any other team eliminated affects the Race. Its one less team to Race against, that’s all. Geez, even after they’re eliminated they try to sneak them onto the Race.

The Leg
Anyway, the teams make their way half a mile to the Glacier where they need to use a navigator to find an avalanche beacon.

The BQs pass the gear they need and they have to go back to the chair lifts to get the pack, but they still manage to pass Oswald & Danny who are the last team at the clue.

They all end up on the same early flight to Maputo, Mozambique.

The Road Block at Mapopo training field, “Who smells a rat?” has the teams use a trained rat to find a deactivated landmine. The rat finds the mine, and they dig up a flag, Charla & Mirna are the last team.

(Some of the rats’ names… Nelson, Xena, and Tupac.)

In the Detour, Pamper or Porter… teams either have to get 30 meticais by getting people to let them paint their nails or fill ten sacks with charcoal, sew them closed, then take one sack to a specified address.

Aparently, nail painting is more commonly done by men in Mozambique, something the teams didn’t know.

Mirna & Charla and the BQs go do Pamper and easily finish in 1st and 2nd respectively at the Fortalezza Pit Stop.

All the other teams think the charcoal is faster, and struggle with the labor-intensive task.

Teri & Ian, who arrive at the clue last, are mistakenly taken to the location of the Pamper detour and reluctantly decide they might as well do it. Charla & Mirna and the BQs seem to have asked a couple of people to paint their nails. Teri & Ian ask two girls to get their nails painted for the whole 30 metical. (Mozambican girl: “Its too much!”)
Instead, the one girl pays 20 and the other pays 10. Teri & Ian quickly paint their nails, the girls are fine with it. They finish 3rd.

One of the funniest moments ever on The Amazing Race, and even funnier than dancing Phil, was Oswald & Danny, covered in charcoal, chasing Phil around wanting to hug him. They are fourth.

After a seemingly growing feud between the Guidos and Eric & Danielle, they finish 5th and 6th respectively seconds apart.

Uchenna & Joyce, who get lost finishing the Road Block, finish last in this first non-elimination leg. They are now marked for elimination.

The Teams
Teri & Ian… Thank goodness the driver took them to the other Detour and thank goodness for those two girls. I’m sure they would’ve been last if they did the charcoal. It was pretty funny. They could’ve just poured the nail polish all over their hands. Anyway, Go Teri & Ian!

Charla & Mirna get their first, first place finish ever. Good for them. They were great at the Detour… “We put clear, manly colors!” Ha, they should start their own business… Charla & Mirna’s Hollywood Nails.

Oswald & Danny had a little bit of frustration on the Glacier, but they easily got over it and did well. Dustin & Kandice got over their oversight and finished strong too. I thought it was sweet that they gave the little girl a free nail polish. 

Uchenna & Joyce now have to find a way to get first next leg. There may or may not be a Fast Forward so who knows what’ll happen.

And the Guidos and Eric & Danielle. I guess there is a mini-feud going on there. Eric did make some stupid, childish comments towards Joe & Bill several times during the leg. And looks like Danielle freaks out again! next week. Great…

I was a little sad when Joe & Bill said they were the “kinder and gentler” Guidos this time around. Its funny how while I hated them on TAR1, I look back now and think how hilariously evil they were.

Remember, be sure to watch THE FINISH LINE every Monday at 1PM ET/10AM PT at CBS.com and watch the new ELIMINATION STATION at CBS.com where we all get to see what goes on in Sequesterville!


QUOTES FROM EPISODE 11-05
Charla: “We’ll just be a popsicle… and somebody can suck us.”

Mirna: “What the hell is an avalanche beacon?”
Charla: “An avalanche is when the snow falls down.”

Ian: “Is your underwear tagged ‘Team Guido’?”
Joe: “You don’t want to see our underwear.”
Ian: “We have paper, so…”
Joe: “We have thongs. Sometimes they give you wedgies.”

Charla: “I’ve never been to a glacier in my life.”

Oswald: “If you get caught in an avalanche…”
Danny: “Never look for Oswald & Danny to get you out”

Joe: “We smell like a French whore, but it doesn’t matter to me.”

Mirna: “That’s a huge damn rat.”

Oswald: “I’ll set you free after and I’ll take you to a nice lab where they’ll apply make-up to you.”

Joe: “When we retire, maybe we can come here and get jobs as rat trainers.”

Bill: “Two guys painting nails…”
Joe: “Yeah, that’s going to be weird.”

Mirna: “I’m glad they have metrosexuals everywhere in the world.”

Phil (to the BQs): “Pretty in Pink in Mozambique”

Danny: “Do I look like Rambo?”
Oswald: “You look like a faggy raccoon.”

Oswald: “Don’t get me dirty Danny!”

Phil (to Oswald & Danny): “I’m surprised you went for the coal… but that’s just me.”
Oswald: “We came to win… we didn’t come to sissyfoot.”


EPISODE CAPS HOPEFULLY UP BY MONDAY EVENING!! 

TEAM RANKINGS FOR EPISODE 11-05
1. TERI & IAN
2. CHARLA & MIRNA
T3. JOE & BILL
T3. OSWALD & DANNY
T5. UCHENNA & JOYCE
T5. DUSTIN & KANDICE
GAP
7. ERIC & DANIELLE

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